Nothing forces you to address your own wounded masculine energy like raising a son, especially as a single mother!
How can you raise a king if you subconsciously fear or resent men? It’s impossible to teach a child how to love themselves whilst simultaneously outwardly showing that you, and many others will dislike him purely because of his gender.
The feminine struggle isn’t new, nor does it go unheard, but the masculine struggle seems to only be heard by mothers of sons - and so we try to fiercely protect our kings but if our own inner masculine and feminine are wounded and imbalanced it’s easy to overcompensate with “tough love” and withholding compassion or having a lack of boundaries and never making him accountable for his actions.
My son was 8 years old when he said to me that he thinks women & girls have more rights than men & boys. He was completely distressed as he felt society held a strict expectation of manhood meanwhile women were allowed to do, be & wear whatever they liked without any repercussions.
And because I was hearing it from my son I had finally understood what his father used to try to tell me years prior! I was proud of his ability to think freely yet deeply saddened that my baby viewed the world as so unjust.
I told him how I understood why he feels like that and shared my opinion about why I feel that is the case and also explained how we both have our own struggles and neither one is particularly easy. As I sat with this I was able to understand why this used to trigger me so much; my wounded feminine needed to be seen as the victim, so when that was threatened by a man expressing his struggles my wounded masculine would take over and compete!
And whilst I was able to respond rather than react, I still feel as though this conversation was what caused me to really, deeply, understand how unheard the voice of the masculine is.
Another significant issue of wounded masculine energy when raising a son, is overworking. Many mothers take on a LOT of responsibility, and it's even more the case for single mothers because life doesn't give much other option! Constantly feeling like you need to graft, hustle, do more, upkeep the house, make money, teach your children. The list goes on and the pressure never stops - cue the constant cycle of burnout and productivity, due to this many mothers find it difficult to help their sons establish routines and tools that are needed to embrace their masculine energy within. Children are impressionable and a product of their environment. If all your son sees is you grafting, it's easy to see how they will grow up to think that their own worth is measured in how hard they work or what they can aquire. Alternatively they grow expecting women to take the slack and do all the work as that was what they were raised to think is the norm.
Can a woman raise a man? That's still open to debate but there are so many examples of how the the wounded masculine shows up when you are a single mother. If you are raising a young man and want to ensure that you are encouraging and making space for his sacred masculine energy, you have to model it. The right way.
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